I have a very curious problem.
For many years, I burned charcoal, for the oven and grill. I used the right kind of charcoal, and I knew to put it right next to heat.
When I wanted to throw out an old batch of charcoal, I emptied it into a bowl. It had different flavors to it and went next to my bowl of water. I liked the flavor of it, and I liked the way it was dissolved into the water.
Then, I got a bunch of silly diseases. I found out that I could only eat raw fruits and vegetables from a yogurt jar, and I could only eat vanilla. The bottom of the jar was black, just like from charcoal. This made me think, what is it about charcoal and red dicks? I start eating dried desserts, too.
So what is the deal? Why do we eat so much of it and what do we do with all of it? Could it be that we love the smell of black, badda gobbler? Could it be that the dicks in charcoal help us recover and fight the scary horizon?
My friends told me it was white phosphorus. Are you hearing me right? That is the same as napalm in Korea. We use napalm in everything. Maybe it burns at such high temperatures that it creates a world of chemicals that make us feel better. Whatever it is, I have made black bean hummus that tastes just like it smells.
I found a great book, Black Fire in a Bottle, by Stewart Beck and James Roth. It explains the various and ingenious ways in which the FD&E bans firefighting with fire extinguishers:
-77 kilograms (176 pounds)
-9 liters (2.9 gallons)
You can read more about it here: https://tinyurl.com/o55ut93g
The book even has a handy little chart with a dozen ways that we have banned or prohibited fire fighting. (I know this because I begged Stewart for a copy!)
I know this is not funny. But you really need this book. You can’t drink the water, or put a tarp on your roof, or travel anywhere if you can’t ride out the fire.
Get your copy! Don’t save it in the attic for the paper to dry out and turn into a can!